Growth, Gains, and Gratitude: Ryan’s Other Birthday

Since our son Ryan had his life-saving Pediatric Bone Marrow Transplant on this day 21 years ago, we consider it a birthday of sorts. Yes, we celebrate on August 16, his birthday, but Ryan’s “other” birthday (today) with a new marrow that manifested in Ryan’s body in less than 100 days between November 3, 2004, and March 1, 2005, is also celebrated. We are still grateful for the selfless act of Scott Harris of New Jersey, donating his bone marrow and a lot of his A+ blood for Ryan to continue his life and become the handsome man he is today.

Scott was a perfect 12/12 bone-marrow match who also had the exact same blood type as Ryan - A+ (A positive).

Thankful for Scott’s selfless act of donating. THANK YOU, Thank you, thank you!

Humble thanks to the efforts of the medical community at Georgetown University, with the brilliance of Dr. Aziza Shad, Duke University, especially Dr. Joann Kurtzberg, and her groundbreaking findings in bone marrow transplantation in the early 1990s., Be The Match, and the countless, faceless individuals in the labs around the world, who got humanity to this point, if a BMT is needed.

Appreciative for the kindnesses showered on us then, and still today in good times and in not-so-good times.

For us, we’ve learned the valuable idea of Post-Traumatic Growth and Gains. In a nutshell, this is what PTG-G is:

Post-Traumatic Growth and Gains (PTG-G) is the concept that after a life-altering trauma or crisis—something that shatters your “normal” — you don’t just recover; you can actually grow and gain. It’s not about silver linings or toxic positivity; it’s about transformation.

In addition, Post-Traumatic Growth is a scientifically studied process in which people develop a greater appreciation for life, stronger relationships, deeper spirituality, and a renewed sense of purpose following trauma. The Gains part (my addition, since Bill and I began to dig deeper into the research) highlights the tangible outcomes that follow: resilience, gratitude, wisdom, empathy, and action. We appreciate all the adjectives here, but we prefer to focus on our actions and how we can help others navigate the road of childhood cancer and beyond.

Although this concept may not be for everyone, PTG-G reminds us that while pain changes/changed us, it can also strengthen us in ways we never expected, leading to growth and tangible benefits for ourselves and others. Frankly, we can never repay what was bestowed upon us over the years, but by chipping away at kindness and helping others, even on the smallest scale, we are growing and making a difference, or at least we think we are - the greatest blessing of PTG-G!

With Unending Gratitude,

Terri