Day 6 of CCAM - A Family Affair - Soccer - Ryan & Terri become USSF Referees in 2010

If people ask me what a few things I “needed” to do to get through tough moments with Ryan’s cancer were, I often talked about having creative endeavors or having fulfilling hobbies. Even if there is no rough patch to “get over,” the power of community in a creative endeavor or a hobby can be life-saving. That’s not to say individual time doing either of those things isn’t good.

They all are.

Creating with intention, as with writing and quilting, has been the biggest contributor to keeping my headspace positive. In the last 17 years…soccer refereeing was a big part of my life.

Luckily, I like to be active and move. When Ryan was in the throes of treatment, I still tried to run a bit, even from the hospital and around the streets of Georgetown if the stars aligned. I also tried to run when I got home from the hospital. Today, I walk…a lot. And, of course, play as much pickleball as I can muster.

In 2010, when Ryan was a teenager, though he wasn’t driving quite yet, he wanted to become a USSF Soccer Official. Bill and Olivia had already earned their badges in 2005, and Ryan wanted to join the party, mostly to be an Assistant Referee (run the lines, not be the center referee).

Hubby Bill suggested I go with Ryan to the classes offered in our county that January, since he didn’t particularly want to sit through six weeks of instruction again before the big test. I reluctantly said, “Sure.” Since it was too cold to be in the car waiting for Ryan’s class to dismiss after a couple of hours of instruction, I went inside and sat in the back of the classroom that first week.

I got intrigued during that first class.

The second week, I sat a little closer to the front.

Weeks three to six, I was in the front row, gleaning all the points on becoming a USSF Soccer Referee. I aced the test, began refereeing in the spring of 2010, and have refereed over 1500 games! I watch the EPL (English Premier League - and have been to three games in London with the family), religiously watch my favorite professional players, and watched most of the 2026 World Cup this past summer.

I’ve never stepped out on a soccer field to play an actual game.

Oh sure, I watched roughly 400 out of 405 of Olivia's storied soccer career from age 5 through college at James Madison University.

Truly, I am a student of the game, probably more than most. It’s a “hidden” secret of mine.

This past year, I’ve really wound down my refereeing schedule. However, when my favorite assigner asked me a month ago if I’d be interested in refereeing a Labor Day Tournament, I said, “Yes,” as long as they were morning games.

Thankfully, I got what I wanted. I was out on the pitch by 7:30 am for (7) games this weekend: three yesterday and four today. Not only that, I got to referee with one of my favorite referees - Karry “Chico” Brown. We met on the pitch 15 years ago and have refereed many games together, including high school matches. It was such a treat for me!

One last thing I do want to mention, though, regarding this particular endeavor of soccer refereeing: when Ryan went through his tongue cancers in 2016-2017, being on the pitch helped me cope with my worrying something fierce. I was able to concentrate on the task at hand, which, in some odd way, relieved the angst, even for a few short hours.

I’m grateful for my time on the pitch, the people I’ve met, and the satisfaction I’ve felt after refereeing a great game. Soccer gave me another community, exercise, friendships, focus, and, during some of our hardest days, a place to put my worries for a few hours.

And to think, I was only supposed to sit in the back of the classroom and wait for Ryan.

More than 1,500 games later, I’m awfully glad I moved to the front row.

Going Gold!

Terri

Photos: 1) First Game Refereed for Ryan & Terri (2010); 2) Bill & Olivia; 3) Karry Brown and me from the Tournament Today - 9/6/2026; 4) Craven Cottage (Fulham vs. Tottenham 2019); 5) Emirates Stadium (Arsenal vs. Chelsea 2019); 6) photo outside the stadium - January 2019.

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