Day 15 of CCAM: Seeds of Advocacy from The Focused Fight

The secret of getting ahead is getting started. - Mark Twain
In the past few videos and posts, I’ve mentioned how we got through tough moments and what helped us cope (receiving a card, postcard, or some chocolate chip cookies. However, we also had to adjust on our own and advocate for Ryan’s needs quite often.
Chats From the Other Side of the Bed
Through Ryan’s first protocol, and well into the second one, I felt versed enough with childhood cancer and the treatments (remember, I only have one patient). I was attuned to the hum of the hospital and the general flow of how the doctors and nurses operated day to day to take care of their youngest charges. It was an interesting web of dedicated individuals, not only fulfilling their career aspirations, but one that kindness reigned supreme with all their interactions, especially in pediatrics. Most medical professionals in pediatrics have to interact with their young patients as well as their parents, guardians or caretakers. It’s a huge undertaking, but with knowledge and know-how, and some humor sprinkled in, a career in pediatrics is a worthwhile endeavor.
I’m not going to lie, there were times that I became frustrated with care, mostly by medical students and interns (they are learning). I know, it is a teaching hospital, so I needed to back down, even though I was ready to hit the roof if I “needed” to tell Ryan’s birth story for the millionth time. After coming down from my high horse, I acquiesced with the information they needed to carry on, and order was restored.
One semi-eventful day while in the hospital, I may have had one of those hissyfits, ahem. But instead of getting mad and fuming about whatever happened, I suggested to Dr. Shad, if she wouldn’t mind, that I gather up some of the med students and interns to apprise them of the ways of the floor, their tiny patients they needed to take care of, and the gist of the parents they have to deal with the most. She was delighted by the offer and arranged for me to start giving “chats-from-the-other-side-of-the-bed” almost immediately. She also mentioned it to the students doing their rotation in the PICU, and by the time my first chat began in the physicians’ lounge, it was standing room only.
As I went through a litany of what it’s like being a parent of a sick child (most of the med students and interns were 22 to 26 years old and not parents yet), and speaking on behalf of other parents in my boat, along with parents who were “short-term boarders” (their children in for a minor procedure), their eyes were wide as saucers. They never realized how they could improve their introduction to the children first, develop a heartfelt strategy for delivering news to nervous parents, or how to ask questions with empathy.
Heads nodded in the affirmative after I hit them again by explaining what it really means to be a parent of a sick child: the 24/7/365 job with no time off; the pit in the stomach that rarely goes away, even in slumber; and that even if we could grab some sleep, we still wake up in the hospital with a sick child. I went on to say that the child takes cues from the parents first, then the doctors. We then, as parents, have to make some incredible decisions about our child’s care day in and day out and need rest too.
A little laughter rang out when I mentioned that the child is not “invisible,” so it’s quite alright, even preferred, that they introduce themselves to the child first, then the parent, like, “Hi, I’m Dr. Susie, and I’ll be part of the team that will be taking care of you today.” Simple. Smile. The kid you are talking to will relish the attention. It’s also, in my opinion, the right thing to do.
We would have a short Q&A, and I would end with something to the effect that they all had a great education behind them, and to use it. But it will benefit them to hone their personal skills and their bedside manners above all else. Unless they decided to work in a lab as a career, medicine is about the (pediatric) patient and their family. Learning from some of the best attending physicians in Washington D.C. could catapult their career beyond their dreams. It was all up to them.
I can only hope my chats were taken to heart, and the students gleaned some perspective on handling the delicate little people and messy situations involving the most vulnerable population in any hospital.
Excerpt From
The Focused Fight
Terri Tomoff
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Going Gold for Advocacy! ☀️🎗💕
Terri


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